Three weeks ago I had my first shot of Enbrel for Rheumatoid Arthritis. Besides the fact that the autoinjector hurts quite a bit, it seriously lowered my immunity. I felt relief from joint pain the day after my shot and for the rest of the week, but by the end of the week, I had a horribly sore throat and knew I was coming down with something, so I skipped my next dose. By the following week, I felt like I was getting over what had ended up being a seriously horrible cold, and because my joints were aching again, I gave myself another shot of Enbrel. By the end of this week, I had relapsed, and I had a respiratory infection and bronchitis. Therefore, I am not giving myself another dose of Enbrel. I will see my rheumatologist in a week and will let her know that I want off the Enbrel and back on the Arava which is MUCH cheaper and doesn’t lower my immunity so much.

Of course, it didn’t help that I had to present to a group of teachers Tuesday afternoon which meant spending last weekend creating a presentation…or rather, seriously revising an old one. It also didn’t help that I had to stay late on Wednesday, so someone from HR could talk to us about how we shouldn’t take off work…among other things. It certainly didn’t help that I had a meeting at church from 3-4 on Thursday followed by another meeting at church I facilitated from 7-8. This meeting was enveloped in the middle of a function at school, so I had to go set up before my meeting and then go back to school afterwards and put things back where they belong. Then, because I like helping people in need, I heeded the call to judge speeches at an academic competition at my school from 3:15 – 9:15 Friday, but I didn’t get to leave until just before 11:00. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed listening to the kids’ speeches, but I was bone-tired when I left, and I felt exhausted and horribly ill all day yesterday. At least now I’m on antibiotics, so hopefully I’ll feel better soon.

Am I meeting my resolution to take care of ME? Not so much. I’ve hardly gone for any walks or bike rides, and I haven’t put very many notes of gratitude in my “blessings” jar. My husband quit his job AGAIN, so he’s home all day everyday AGAIN. The silver lining…the house is cleaner and the laundry is done. I have found time for a few long baths with soft music and have been praying Psalm 23 on my way to work most days. These and the fact that my bible study was canceled Wednesday night helped me to make it through a rather tumultuous week. Otherwise, I think I may have ended up in the hospital.

So I’m hitting the reset button. This week should be much easier than last week with only two after-school engagements, and one of those is a spa event our district cosmetology students are hosting which one of my regular library visitors asked me rather kindly to do, BUT I have got to say no when asked to take on more work though. I don’t know why I’m having such difficulty with this.

How I feel right now:


How I want to feel:


Photos courtesy of Pixabay

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